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Comedian Nick Fischer doesn't know why everyone is making such a big fuss when it's all so easy to fix with some batteries and simple local know-how. New ACTU boss Sally Mc Manus came under fire from both sides of politics for saying that 'unjust laws' are okay to break.

Comedian Bish Marzook is on the side of the outraged politicians, those who have spoken out against Mc Manus because they would definitely never ever do anything dodgy in regards to the law.

There’s you, benign 30-something in a plaid shirt, drinking a craft beer, asking me for my top five Bill Murray movies.

There’s us, sitting in some dimly lit bar where you quoted me the Yelp review (“the perogies and the broccoli poutine are fantastic”), penile Edison bulbs looming overhead.

Our insatiable need to truly know another person and the impossible truth that most times, we’re all too selfish and scared.

How people are ultimately, at their core, simple, stupid, animals.

So how does this translate into your online profile?

It would be nice if there were a person here laying next to me right about now.” That’s why we date. But here’s what many people get caught up on: Dating involves opening your self up to another person.

This should impress you, especially since in my 20′s alone (I didn’t date in my teens), I enjoyed three wonderful boyfriends, one summer fling, and one very handsome priest. I attribute my sucess with online dating to the superb personal profile I created.

But if we examine this desire a bit deeper, we see that what we want is to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Dating sucks, and society keeps trying to assist everyone by inventing dating apps to match people with suitable love interests. There’s a new Riverdale episode is next Friday, the Last Jedi comes out in December...

But comedian Lucy Valentine believes the apps focus too much on things that people both like, and not enough on things that interest her, like finding someone who has the same amount of existential angst. so my schedule’s just pretty full at the moment actually.

But worst of all, you’ll end up attracting — you guessed it– self-involved arrogant d**che bags. Because those are the only people (aside from your grandma), who would actually be impressed by those lame self portraits you posed for.

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